gayarsonist:

what your favorite tolkien ship says about you

(all inspired by Eldena Doubleca5t’s videos)

frodo/sam: you are a firm believer in the inherent homoeroticism of having a best friend who would die for you

gimli/legolas: you are a firm believer in the inherent homoeroticism of having a rival

aragorn/arwen: you are a firm believer in sticking to canon and keeping it wholesome

aragorn/legolas: your ideal date involves as many death-defying parkour stunts as possible

aragorn/legolas/gimli: you realized that legolas has two hands and thought, what’s better than one handsome warrior boyfriend? two handsome warrior boyfriends

aragorn/eowyn: you just want good things for eowyn, and really, who wouldn’t?

aragorn/boromir: you just want good things for boromir, and really, who wouldn’t?

eowyn/faramir: you just want good things for faramir, and really, who wouldn’t?

eowyn/arwen: you are a wlw

eowyn/wormtongue: you are a heterosexual

frodo/sauron: you just want really, really bad things for frodo

thorin/bilbo: you like to pretend that the battle of the five armies didn’t really happen. then again, so does pretty much everyone who watched it, so you’re not special.

kili/tauriel: you say you want a girlfriend who can kick your ass, but really you just want her to bridal carry you

thranduil/tauriel: you want a girlfriend who can and will kick your ass, and tilt your chin up with her blade afterwards

arwen/tauriel: you are a wlw with a thing for elves

thranduil/bard: you are a firm believer in the inherent homoeroticism of two single dads

thranduil/thorin: you are a firm believer in the inherent homoeroticism of getting dunked on

maedhros/a nap: you just want good things for maedhros, and really, who wouldn’t? (a lot of people, including tolkien himself, wouldn’t)

melkor/mairon: you take great offence to anyone calling these two ‘morgoth’ and ‘sauron’

haleth/caranthir: you are a firm believer in men 👏 getting 👏 pegged 👏

luthien/beren: you are jrr tolkien